lpag - jeannie

I spent years investigating inmate complaints in the federal prisons across Canada. The work was often heart breaking, especially in the Prison For Women, where the majority of the inmates had suffered severe emotional and/or physical abuse when young. A great many of them had turned to drugs to numb their pain and of course become addicted, hence the common need to commit crimes to support an addiction. The saddest cases of all however, involved those women whose abuse had been so terrible that they constantly self mutilated. It would break my heart to see them brought down for their interviews with me, with razor blade cuts all over their arms and legs, some so deep that they required stitches, or with cigarette burns on their skin, hair missing where they had pulled it out and on and on.

It was hard for me to understand why they did it, but one woman told me that in hurting herself physically, the pain of the cut or burn would temporarily overpower or block out her emotional pain, and give her some kind of relief from the mental torture. It was a very difficult syndrome to cure, the women affected had a compulsion to do this and few of them could control it. It also seemed to intensify if the women were placed in segregation (solitary confinement) for any length of time. The absence of physical contact with others, and the lack of stimulation or things to do, just sitting in their small cell 23 hours a day, seemed to send these women even deeper into their inner world and their self mutilation would increase.

Given my background, I was absolutely stunned the first time that I visited the Fauna Foundation and while talking to Gloria outside Jeannie's cage, witnessed Jeannie start screaming all of a sudden and then start self mutilating. The sanctuary was quiet, and we hadn't heard anything to set Jeannie off or upset her, but she was inconsolable, biting herself, and pulling at her hair. Gloria was desperately trying to distract Jeannie, to stop her from hurting herself, but it took awhile to pull Jeannie's attention away from screaming and what she was doing to herself physically and bring her focus back to Gloria and then the room again. I was completely floored; it had never occurred to me that animals would self mutilate, although the comparisons to the women inmates I'd dealt with were startling. Jeannie had suffered years of physical and emotional abuse in laboratories, as well as the terrible deprivation of being segregated from other chimps and any physical affection or comfort for most of those years.

I watched Jeannie more closely for the duration of that visit, and noticed that her gaze was often distant, as if she was off in her own little world. She just didn't seem connected in the way that most of the other chimps were. Gloria told me a bit about her history, that she had to fight very hard to bring Jeannie to Fauna because her behaviour at the lab had deteriorated and become so "difficult" that they said she was past hope and she would never be able to stabilize or integrate. Thankfully, Gloria refused to take 'no' for an answer, and brought Jeannie home to Fauna. Gloria hadn't been able to integrate Jeannie at the time of my first visit, but she was hoping that with time Jeannie would get better and they would be able to integrate her. I left that day very troubled, wondering how Jeannie would ever get past her inner demons. The women inmates had trouble leaving it behind even with years of intensive psychotherapy, but how would you provide the equivalent of psychotherapy to a chimp? I kept my fingers crossed for Jeannie and Gloria, because the obvious terror and pain that Jeannie was feeling during her fits of mutilation, were mirrored by any of us who were present. It was so difficult to watch her pain and not be able to stop it or make it better. I was haunted by the memory of Jeannie's screams for a long time after my visit, and I always gravitated to her cage whenever I visited Fauna.

My husband and I visited Fauna in early February. Our Christmas pilgrimage to see the chimps and bring them their Christmas gifts and goodies had been delayed because we both came down with the long version of the Sydney Flu on Boxing Day. It was so wonderful to be back there with everyone at Fauna and the chimps. As usual, I gravitated to Jeannie's cage, where I was thrilled to see that she had successfully integrated with Tom and Pablo. While my husband Jim was doing the male bonding thing with Tom, I watched Jeannie. She was very interested in us, and in addition to continually turning her back to us for scratches, she stayed with us for almost an hour before the volunteers arrived and it was time to make the enrichment packages. I had one of the most incredible and rewarding experiences of my life during that hour. Jeannie continually looked into my eyes in that time, not only was she not distant, but she seemed to be at peace. She reached her fingers through the cage to touch my hand, and we touched finger tips to finger tips. She stayed that way for a very long time, just looking into me while connecting with me physically. Once in a while she pulled her hand back in to get a banana, or do something else, but then she would immediately put her hand back out to resume our contact. Her peacefulness and contentment was palpable, it was coming off of her in waves. I kept tearing up in joy, from remembering the first time I had met her and the incredible difference in her in less than a year. I felt so blessed, not only to have had the privilege of the connection she was allowing me, but also to see Jeannie healed. Gloria confirmed that the self-mutilation had stopped, and we drove back to Ottawa that day, still feeling the warmth and happiness of seeing Jeannie living without fear and pain.

Jeannie's remarkable transformation is such an important story to tell, because not only does it attest to what love and caring can do for chimps who are considered unstable or unsuitable for sanctuaries, but it proves that they all deserve a chance at retirement. Jeannie's life was literally rescued by Gloria and everyone at Fauna. She now lives a quality of life, love, caring, abundance and security that she probably could never have imagined in all of her tortured years. These very special people at Fauna have managed the seemingly impossible, they have healed a wonderful being and given her a gift that is even more precious than life itself, they have given her a life worth living.